It must be true... I read it in the tabloids
▪ A Brooklyn woman has publicly admitted she and her boyfriend are the loudest lovers in New York City—the source of multiple complaint calls to officials. Olga Valerio, 49, said she and Byron Perez, the 26-year-old handyman at her apartment building, didn’t realize their amorous din was waking up neighbors. In response to the complaints, they’ve learned to close the windows. But she told the New York Post that she won’t apologize for their mutual attraction. “Chemistry is chemistry,” she said.
▪ A Connecticut fish market owner was outraged when a TSA agent opened a cooler containing a live 20-pound lobster she was shipping to a customer and posed with the crustacean for a social media photo. Lisa Feinman said the massive lobster had been carefully packed and properly labeled, and that she was “personally offended” that the agent used it as a photo prop. “When is it OK to go through someone’s checked baggage and take photographs?” Feinman asked. “Do your job and leave our personal property alone.”
▪ A Waco, Texas, consignment shop is stuck with a couch rumored to be haunted. The couch, which has a bloodstain on a cushion and a bullet hole in its back, was dropped off 10 years ago by a customer who said that it emitted a sulfur smell and caused cabine do with it.” ■