×
April 16, 2018

John Oliver kicked off Sunday's Last Week Tonight with former FBI Director James Comey's interview with ABC News, and he focused on one of the few parts he'd watched, where Comey discussed telling President-elect Trump about the "pee tape" and other rumors in the Russia dossier. "Yeah, James Comey thought that conversation was 'really weird,'" he said, "and I will remind you that this is a man who has seen Anthony Weiner's emails."

But the Comey interview just capped a "ludicrously dramatic week" that began with the FBI raid on Trump's lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, Oliver said. Cohen kept on making news when it emerged he helped pay off a Playboy model who got pregnant after a consensual extramarital affair with now-former RNC deputy finance chairman Elliot Broidy. Also, House Speaker Paul Ryan announced he's retiring, Trump pardoned Scooter Libby, and it emerged that the National Enquirer paid off a doorman who claimed Trump fathered a secret child in the 1980s with his housekeeper.

"Oh, and on Friday night, we bombed Syria," Oliver pointed out. Not everyone thinks Trump had the legal authority to do that, and some people are concerned that the U.S. is being drawn deeper into a war with no real strategy, "but don't worry on that front, because Trump has already declared 'Mission Accomplished!'" he said. When people questioned using George W. Bush's infamous phrase, Trump doubled down.

"It does not fill you with confidence to have a president who announces, 'I know I'm repeating one of the most notorious political blunders in recent history, I meant to do it, everyone should do it, and I'm going to do it again, forever,'" Oliver paraphrased. "I've got to say, if Trump's intention was to descend so far into self-parody that he somehow burrowed though the Earth's crust and came out the other side, mission f---ing accomplished." That f-bomb isn't bleeped out. Watch below. Peter Weber

12:47 p.m.

President Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen on Wednesday said he takes "full responsibility" for his actions before being sentenced to three years in prison.

Cohen in his hearing, which came after he pleaded guilty to campaign finance violations and lying to Congress, said that he is "getting my freedom back" after having lived in a "personal and mental incarceration" as a result of agreeing to work for Trump, per Courthouse News. While working for Trump, Cohen said he felt it was his "duty" to cover up his boss' "dirty deeds," and this "blind loyalty" to Trump caused him to "follow a path of darkness rather than light."

Cohen went on to apologize directly to the American people, saying, "You deserve to know the truth and lying to you was unjust." By pleading guilty, Cohen said he wants to ensure “that history will not remember me as the villain of [Trump's] story," CNN reports.

Judge William Pauley subsequently sentenced Cohen to three years in prison, saying that Cohen "appears to have lost his moral compass" and that he "should have known better," Bloomberg reports. Cohen reportedly shook his head as if in disbelief as the sentence was read. Brendan Morrow

12:15 p.m.

President Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen was sentenced to 3 years in prison on Wednesday for lying to Congress and for financial crimes, Courthouse News' Adam Klasfield reports. He also has to pay a $100,000 fine, and the sentence will begin March 6, likely in a minimum-security prison.

At a Manhattan federal courthouse, Cohen was sentenced to 36 months, or 3 years, for his guilty plea to New York prosecutors' eight counts of tax evasion and campaign finance violations — financial crimes in which Cohen implicated Trump. He got 2 more months for his late November deal with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, in which he pleaded guilty to the federal crime of lying to Congress about Trump's business dealings with Russia. The 2-month sentence will be served concurrently with the 36 months.

In sentencing recommendations filed Friday, Mueller's team recommended leniency given Cohen's subsequent cooperation with the probe into the Trump campaign's involvement with Russian election interference. Mueller's team also affirmed Wednesday that Cohen provided "credible" and "valuable information" to the investigation. But in Friday's recommendations, the Southern District of New York said Cohen committed "serious crimes worthy of meaningful punishment." A prosecutor speaking Wednesday said Cohen "didn't come anywhere close to assisting this office in an investigation."

Cohen's lawyer fought back against the Southern District in Wednesday's sentencing, saying his client "came forward to offer evidence against the most powerful person in our country." Still, the judge called each of Cohen's crimes "a serious offense against the United States," CNN says. Cohen on Wednesday said he took "responsibility" for his "blind loyalty to Donald Trump," per Courthouse News. Kathryn Krawczyk

10:54 a.m.

A Star Is Born and Black Panther seem poised to clean up in awards season.

The Screen Actors Guild awards nominations were released Wednesday, and in the top category of Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture, the nominees are A Star Is Born, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, and Crazy Rich Asians. History suggests that one of these films will win Best Picture at the Oscars, as it's rare for a movie to do so without first being nominated in this category. (Last year, however, The Shape of Water broke from that tradition by taking Best Picture after a SAG snub.) Roma, a Best Picture frontrunner, was not nominated, nor were other Best Picture hopefuls like Green Book, Vice, and If Beale Street Could Talk.

A Star Is Born earned four nominations, the most of any film, while Black Panther picked up a key nod after previously being recognized at the Golden Globe Awards and the Critics Choice Awards.

Meanwhile, the lead actor nominees are Christian Bale (Vice), Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born), Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody), Viggo Mortensen (Green Book), and John David Washington (BlacKkKlansman), while the lead actress nominees are Emily Blunt (Mary Poppins Returns), Glenn Close (The Wife), Olivia Colman (The Favourite), Lady Gaga (A Star Is Born), and Melissa McCarthy (Can You Ever Forgive Me?).

Emily Blunt got a second nomination in the best supporting actress category for A Quiet Place, with her fellow nominees being Amy Adams (Vice), Margot Robbie (Mary Queen of Scots), Emma Stone (The Favourite), and Rachel Weisz (The Favourite).

In the television field, The Americans, Better Call Saul, The Handmaid's Tale, Ozark, and This Is Us were nominated in the top drama series category, while Atlanta, Barry, GLOW, The Kominsky Method, and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel were nominated in the top comedy series category.

The 25th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards will take place on Jan. 27. Read the full list of nominees at Variety. Brendan Morrow

10:51 a.m.

The new Democratic-controlled House that will take over in January is set to be the most diverse in history. Ann Coulter apparently thinks there's only one thing that ties them all together.

In a Tuesday appearance on Fox News' The Ingraham Angle, Coulter discussed a Tablet report that linked Women's March leaders to anti-semitism. The conservative author and pundit didn't seem surprised by the report, instead alleging that "we're going to be seeing a lot of these disputes in the Democratic Party base because they all hate one another."

Coulter went on to describe the Democratic Party's components as "the Muslims and the Jews and the various exotic sexual groups and the black church ladies with the college queers." The only thing these people "have in common," Coulter said, is that they all "hate white men."

Twitter lit up with angry responses, of course. And just for the record: Pew Research has found that 37 percent of white men "affiliate with or lean toward the Democratic Party." Kathryn Krawczyk

10:01 a.m.

We regret to inform you that people actually like Sen. Ted Cruz's (R-Texas) newly formed beard.

The "universally despised" senator returned to Washington, D.C. after Thanksgiving sporting a patchy something that some people called a beard. Now, it's been a few weeks, Cruz's facial hair is for real, and the world is reacting in an absurdly positive manner.

When Cruz first cracked a smile surrounded by some hair last month, The Cut speculated it might be a celebration of #NoShaveNovember. But November has ended and regrettably, the beard has not. Cruz's Friday appearance on the Senate floor prompted Slate to say his beard "looks great" and makes him "semi-hot." And a Fox News appearance Wednesday led CNN's Andrew Kaczynski to tweet "If Ted Cruz had this beard in 2016 he would have won" the presidential election. Even Chrissy Teigen conceded in Cruz's favor.

While it's nowhere near the improvement that hipster glasses brought to Energy Secretary Rick Perry's face, even the harshest of skeptics must admit Cruz's beard does disrupt a face a neurologist described as naturally unlikeable. The bigger question is why Cruz sprouted a beard now, after winning his surprisingly challenging Senate race with Rep. Beto O'Rourke (D-Texas). Perhaps it's because the Texas GOP's reminder that O'Rourke once had a goatee famously backfired, and Cruz has been studying O'Rourke's face on plane rides ever since. Kathryn Krawczyk

9:52 a.m.

After her Oval Office meeting with President Trump, CNN's Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo were in agreement: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) nailed it.

Lemon and Cuomo spoke on Tuesday night after Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) sat down in meeting with President Trump and argued in front of cameras about border funding, with Pelosi later calling the wall a "manhood thing" for Trump. Lemon was absolutely effusive in his praise. "Just objectively speaking," he says he thought while watching it, "oh my gosh, Nancy Pelosi is a boss," per Mediaite.

Lemon went on to say that Pelosi handled herself "amazingly" and that Democrats are likely thanking God for her leadership. He also said that by trying to dismiss the cameras, Pelosi had been trying to save Trump "the embarrassment" of telling him he doesn't know what he's talking about on television. Cuomo, meanwhile, agreed, arguing that Pelosi "really held her own" against Trump and applauding her for not being "too nasty," adding that Trump "got NanChucked by the two of them."

Responding to conservative media, Lemon also said that "no matter how much they spin it, I'm telling you, [Trump] got outflanked today." But Lemon may be surprised to learn that even Fox News' Brian Kilmeade kind of agreed with him, saying on Fox & Friends on Wednesday that Pelosi had the "same brawling tactics" as Trump but had a "better way of doing it." Brendan Morrow

9:20 a.m.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was grilled Wednesday morning about the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi — on Fox & Friends, of all places.

Pompeo repeatedly dodged questions about the murder of the Washington Post columnist by Saudi officials, which the CIA has reportedly concluded was ordered by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. The Trump administration, however, has insisted there is no "direct evidence" tying bin Salman to the murder. Pompeo repeated that assertion on Wednesday morning while noting that Saudi Arabia is an "important ally," per Mediaite.

But host Brian Kilmeade wasn't satisfied with that explanation, telling Pompeo that the Saudis are the ones who have damaged the relationship with the U.S. and that even people like Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) are convinced bin Salman was involved. "We know the prince knows, right?" Kilmeade asked. "You know that he knows." Pompeo didn't really answer, so Kilmeade followed up with, "When you looked him in the eye and he denied it, did you believe him?" Pompeo again wouldn't answer, instead saying, "The kingdom of Saudi Arabia decides who's running the country."

Host Ainsley Earhardt challenged Pompeo again by bringing up the CIA's conclusion, to which he responded that some of that reporting is inaccurate. But when the hosts followed up to ask if he means the reporting about the CIA's conclusion is inaccurate, he wouldn't directly answer that, either. "They're still working on it," he said. Watch Fox & Friends' confrontation with Pompeo below. Brendan Morrow

See More Speed Reads