SNL's Brett Kavanaugh says he was 'the proudest, drunkest virgin you've ever seen' in high school
Saturday Night Live returned for Season 44, launching with a cold open starring actor Matt Damon as Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. The scene is Thursday's Senate Judiciary Committee hearings with Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford, who accused him of sexually assaulting her when they were in high school in the 1980s.
"Now I am usually an optimist," Damon's Kavanaugh says in his introductory speech. "I'm a keg-half-full kind of guy, but what I've seen from the monsters on this committee makes me want to puke — and not from beer!" He lays out a two-prong defense: One, look at his "beautiful, creepy calendars," which never mention sexually assaulting anybody, and two, in high school, he was "the proudest, drunkest virgin you've ever seen."
Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Bonnie Kristian was a deputy editor and acting editor-in-chief of TheWeek.com. She is a columnist at Christianity Today and author of Untrustworthy: The Knowledge Crisis Breaking Our Brains, Polluting Our Politics, and Corrupting Christian Community (forthcoming 2022) and A Flexible Faith: Rethinking What It Means to Follow Jesus Today (2018). Her writing has also appeared at Time Magazine, CNN, USA Today, Newsweek, the Los Angeles Times, and The American Conservative, among other outlets.
-
How powerful is Iran?
Today's big question Islamic republic is facing domestic dissent and 'economic peril' but has a vast military, dangerous allies and a nuclear threat
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published
-
Olympics 2024: is Paris ready to party?
Talking Point Build-up to this summer's Games 'marred' by rows over national identity, security and pollution
By The Week UK Published
-
Solo travel: the 'ultimate indulgence in 2024'
The Week Recommends Why more of us are choosing to go on holiday on our own
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Beatles are getting 4 intersecting biopics
Speed Read Director Sam Mendes is making four separate movies, each told from the perspective of one band member
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Taylor Swift to Miley Cyrus: female artists dominate 2024 Grammys
Speed Read SZA, Phoebe Bridgers and Lainey Wilson were also among the winners at LA gala
By Arion McNicoll, The Week UK Published